On Reintegrating the Public II

In a follow up to my last entry, I want to expand on the issue of Veteran Civilian dialogue and some of the ways to think about it as we all go forward.  As I noted in the last blog, there is no way that civilians, or even military people (I’m guessing) could possibly truly understand the experience of combat vets or those who have lived in combat zones without having lived there themselves.  In fact, really knowing this experience would make most of us unbearably uncomfortable.  I still l think that the effort to try to understand is extremely important, but actually getting it isn’t necessarily the goal.  The effort is, in whatever way that is possible. 

Maybe its because of our culture of psychotherapy with Dr. Phil and Oprah on tv, but many seem to believe that we can all be therapists and that the best thing for Veterans would be to dump their worst experiences out into the open - to us, making us very important -, and then all would be better.  Any good therapist knows, and any sensitive person would as well, that what matters most - where healing is - is in the personal emotional connection, not the story.  In fact,  the telling of the traumatic story is often dangerous to the person telling it, and if we are not prepared for it it is often dangerous to us, the listener (psychically) as well.

One friend, who responded to my last blog, noted that when he talks with a Vet, his questions are, “Where did you serve”, and “How are you doing”, with no expectation of further detail.  He comes from a place of personal interest, but not a “need to know the details”, and respects the pacing and response of the Vet.  Seems like a solid approach.

One of the notable things about the panel after the recent films was that it was made up entirely of Veterans.  Completely understandable, but that sets up an us/them dichotomy that is going to limit what can happen.  What might have helped would have been to have family members or others whose lives are directly impacted by a returning Veteran on the panel as well.  In a way, that's like having a translator, a kind of bridging person, in that all of us can relate to family issues, conflicts, fears, doubts, etc., that a family member of a Vet could articulate.  We don't’ need to know the trauma of war to understand the trauma of a family because all of us, to some extent, anyway, have lived with these things.  In other words, we can share in the emotion of it and it makes the whole thing more personal to all of us.  If its personal it matters.

Also, families, and the effects of war upon them, are generally ignored in discussions about returning veterans, PTSD, etc.  We consider them to be Veterans as well, in that they have lived through the deployments, are often living with the destructive and sometimes violent emotional issues of the returning vet, and are often now called in to become full time caregivers for men and women who have been physically or emotionally injured to the point of major disability.  Or, sadly common, they are often the direct targets of the violence that still resides in the Veteran who has come home.

This is obviously a very complicated subject and its much bigger from a public health standpoint than most of us want to know.  Sometimes I think that the “dialogue” should have no words.  That it be a situation - like what happened at the Memorial Day event of the Welcome Home Project - where the civilians are gifted at least the emotional truth, not necessarily the specific details, and then respond with reverent silence.  Listening.  Maybe with a simple statement in the mind of everyone present:  “I’m sorry, I didn’t know.  Thank you.” 

I like Ed Tick’s Soldier’s Heart premise:  “Healing means sharing the burden”.  Not the details, the burden.  That is reintegrating the public.

Bill McMillan

On Reintegrating the Public

We recently attended a screening by a Veteran friend, Chris Loverro, of several of his short films dealing with Veterans and the difficulties of reintegration.  They were moving films, the hall was well attended by veterans and civilians, and it was overall a very successful coming out for a new filmmaker with a strong history and message.

Central to the event was the post screening panel/discussion between several veterans, men and women, mostly from the current wars, who gamely sat to answer questions from the audience.  Many of the questions were thoughtful and intended to help understand or encourage, and the responses by each of the Vets were carefully considered, personal and enlightening for us civilians.  Several of the questions, however, were particularly insensitive and provocative and, though the Vets were admirable in their restraint as they responded, it seemed like there was a noticeable cringe in the audience when these questions were asked - How do you keep from committing suicide every day with what you remember?, Why would you have enlisted, knowing what you were getting into?, Could you please take this opportunity to tell us some of the most difficult things you had to experience so that you can get it off your chest and we can better understand?  (These are paraphrases, but you get the idea).

Its easy to condemn these kinds of questions and the people who ask them, but I think they speak to some greater truths about the small but growing effort at Veteran/Civilian dialogue that we encourage and that many others around the country are pushing for as well.  To me, the most important of these is that many in the civilian public, awkwardly for sure, really want to understand the depth of the pain carried by returning veterans (and their families).  It isn’t just morbid curiosity, and it isn’t just stereotypes about PTSD and Veterans going postal.  And it isn’t just a patriotic duty.   I think it is the sense that there is something important here for us to learn from these guys.  The problem is that most of us civilians, well intentioned as we may be, don’t know how to approach this.  We don’t know the rules, the subtleties, the complexities of the issues faced by Vets, and we certainly have no way to understand the intensity of the experience of the men and women who have been in war zones.  We could never understand this.

But we need to try.  And we need some widespread effort to prepare us for this effort.  First off, we need to be open to the idea that this effort at dialogue is not based on getting “answers” and mutual understanding.  Its uneven that way.   We’ll never really get the kind of experience Vets have had.  So its also partial.  We pick up what we can relate to and we open to being moved in a way that may be uncomfortable and may be quite unfamiliar at first. 

And a few basic ground rules - The obvious don’t asks:  Did you kill anyone?  Do have friends that killed themselves?  Can you tell me the worst things you saw, did, didn’t do?  That is looking for information, details, private memories.  Out of bounds.

What might be appropriate questions to start with:  (This was asked by a woman at the screening, again paraphrased) - What might you want me to know right now?  Or one vet’s rephrasing of that question:  How has my outlook changed as a result of my experience in war?

Unlike the days after Vietnam, the public is interested and does care.  And we need to consciously prepare ourselves for what that would really mean as these many men and women return to neighborhoods, families and homes.  The reintegration is only partly about the Vets - we civilians are reintegrating too.

The Documentary - picture is locked

Dear Friends and Supporters of Veterans and the Welcome Home Project,

We want to officially let you all know that the picture on the documentary was locked on Thanksgiving Day.   Title:  “The Welcome”. This means that we are done - almost - with this phase of the project.  The picture won’t change but the musical score is now being written and the technical corrections will happen in early December.  Totally complete by Christmas.  Amazing - Kim and Josh Peterson, the editor, are incredible.  They have made a very powerful movie.

We wanted to also give you an explanation of the next steps.  Until the film has been shown in an official premiere - hopefully at one of the major festivals either in late winter or early spring, we have to hold off on putting out DVD’s and other showings.   We do plan to have some kind of major screening in Ashland, OR some time in the spring and will let all of you know about that when details are more clear.

Our intention is to have this distributed nationally, hopefully broadcast on either PBS or cable (we won’t know about that for a while yet), and definitely in local communities all over the country.  To do that we will again need funding, so if you are looking for a year end tax deduction we are once again offering the amazing opportunity for you to support Veterans and their families by helping to get this film out there.  Please contact me if you have questions about that, or go directly to the Marion Institute web site (www.marioninstitute.org) and make the donation on line.  We thank all of you for your patience and incredible support over the course of the project. 

Happy holidays to all of you and to Veterans and their families everywhere.

Bill
The Welcome Home Project
541-821-4798
www.thewelcomehomeproject.org

On a Community Centered Approach

The current issue of the Networker Magazine, a magazine written by and for psychotherapists, is dedicated to the issue of returning Veterans and the challenge their situation is creating for treatment models and approaches to this gigantic, and growing, “situation”. 

Of particular interest to me is the article entitled “It Takes a Community”, by Laurie Leitch and Elaine Miller-Karas.  It is a powerful article with a great description of how the current, basically traditional approach of psychotherapy - one person, one therapist, possibly group psychotherapy - is rapidly becoming inadequate for both the nature and scope of the problem.  There are simply too many new “clients’ returning from these wars, and their impact on those closest to them, their families, is both too complicated and too big for the current state of training to adequately address.  The VA is clearly overwhelmed and individual private therapists are, while well intentioned, generally inadequately trained and prepared for the intensity and complexity of the problems brought home from war.

The authors propose what they describe as a Community centered approach.  In essence, they teach a few people - they don’t have to be therapists - in a body centered approach to working with Veterans that is easy to learn, easily taught, and easily transferred to others.  The concept reminds me of something going viral on the internet.  A few teach it to a larger group, who in tern take the skills and teach it to others.  Seems like a really important direction for this to go, as there are simply not enough therapists trained to deal with the growing public health issue of all these returning veterans.

They propose a Trauma Resiliency Model-Community program with the intention of creating a kind of community of healing and healers based in this approach that emphasizes resilience.  Check it out: 

http://www.psychotherapynetworker.org/magazine/currentissue/1158-it-takes-a-community-

The only difficulty I have with the article is that, while I definitely see the need for approaches that reduce or eliminate the symptoms of PTSD and related issues, I think they miss an important aspect of the idea of a community centered model, as well as the value, though very difficult, of the pain that is brought back into communities.  I’m all for helping Vets and their families to ease the symptoms and to resume lives that include strong relationships and the satisfaction of feeling purpose and belonging.  I’m even more for anything that will entice civilians to become more involved, especially those who are not therapists.  Healing for the whole community comes when large numbers of them are willing and able to step into this pain, to take at least a little of it on as their own, and to let the vets know that they are standing with them as much as they can in this darkness.  Healing isn’t only about symptom relief, however necessary that is.  It is about all of us being a part of the reason for the symptoms in the first place and taking true responsibility for it.

Thoughts and Thanks on Veterans Day, 2010

Hello on this Veterans Day.  This is the first article I have seen (http://www.nytimes.com/2010/11/11/us/11vets.html?hpw) that depicts an effort of “communities” to welcome home Vietnam Veterans. - our main goal at The Welcome Home Project. Long overdue, it is nonetheless obviously a great step for the six million or so Vietnam Vets still living today, and says something about the importance and respect civilians are finally giving to these (mostly) men.   

Maybe parades do matter, but I think that what is most important is the sense that these guys deserve to be honored and recognized, even if it just looks like people waving from the sidewalk.  Still, its a really positive sign and I think indicates that given the right leadership by individuals within states, cities and towns in this country, the civilians will turn out and do the right thing, feel the deep emotion of the collective grief and wonder that follows men and women home from war.  I believe that this may in fact lead to a more respectful and thoughtful society, but its going to take a lot more involvement by civilians to get past our current cultural childishness as we seem to dwell on what separates us politically and morally much more than we show care for each other.

This seems like a good day to point to a few of the organizations involving civilians that we have either worked with or come across in the last few years as we have researched programs in support of our documentary film and in support of Veterans and Civilian involvement.  This is obviously an incomplete list, so any input on others would be greatly appreciated.  All of these guys are great and deserve the recognition:

Soldier’s Heart - created by Ed Tick and Kate Dalstedt, they do retreats for veterans and always include interested civilians as well.  Ed’s thirty plus years working with Vets is an inspiration.

The Soldier’s Project - Founded by Judith Broder, this group pushed the idea that psychological treatment for Veterans should not be solely left to the VA, which is not prepared for the magnitude of the problem.  Pro-bono therapy for Vets and families in S. California.

Returning Veterans NW, a similar program begun in Portland, OR by Carol Levine, this group now has members offering free services all over the state of Oregon and southern Washington.

Voices Education Project - founded by Andy Himes and others  in Seattle, this group builds trust between Veterans and Civilians by organizing Veteran/Civilian Dialogues.

Intersections International, based in NYC, organizes dialogues between conflicting groups from around the world, and now focuses some of it's work on promoting Veteran/Civilian Dialogues as well.  

The Coming Home Project - founded by Zen Priest Joseph Bobrow in San Francisco, they run retreats for OEF and OIF Vets and their families and rely on a large civilian volunteer force to pull these large retreats off.

And a few others:  Outward Bound Veteran's Project, Farms Not Arms and Farmer/Veteran Coalition, The Stress Project, Military Families Speak Out and Military Moms of Texas, etc.

There are many many more, and we would really appreciate it if you could send us the names of other organizations run by civilians specifically in support of Veterans and family members.  That would be a great addition to the national conversation on Veterans Day, 2010.  Further updates on the film soon.  Also, tonight on HBO there will be a great program on PTSD in American Wars going back to the Soldier's Heart description during the Civil War - Called "War Torn".  Should be an important show.

Best to all of you,

The Welcome Home Project

A post from a Friend

Hi - I thought I would post something from a friend who works for the military.  This is a thoughtful and I think sensitive view, sort of from the inside, of life on a major base.  Let us know what you think.

"The size of the US military as a whole leaves me speechless and overwhelmed. From my perspective at ground level, it's not possible to perceive the whole of which I am a part. It's almost unbelievable that a machine with so many moving parts can actually DO anything. It all seems unspeakably inefficient and wasteful. And because the Defense budget is sacrosanct, this has been the case for many years. I can't imagine the actual cost per soldier on the ground in Afghanistan when you add up all the logistical costs, vehicles, housing, armaments, training, food, security, health and educational benefits, family support, recreation etc. which back up those soldiers and Marines ... not to mention the rest of the million-plus number of uniformed personnel scattered around the world and all the government employees and contractors paid for their additional goods and services.
    Then there's the fact that the Taliban is able to operate effectively and efficiently on a fraction of these monetary and technological resources because they live locally and are inspired by nationalistic and religious zeal. And it makes me laugh (tearfully and with anger) when I hear US military strategists opine that with sufficient pressure, the enemy will retire from the field, will sue for peace, will come to the table etc. I saw one report on television where a Taliban was laying his weapon on the ground with a grin on his face. A seeming surrender could only be a strategy. Our so-called "war on terrorism" is self-perpetuating and is doomed to bankrupt our country.
    So that's why when I talk to infantry soldiers returning from this situation who are angry about having to sit in positions while mortar rounds fall around them, who are angry about their friends being killed, who are angry about the limiting rules of engagement, and who continue to be revved up and wanting to just go back in there and finish the fight ... I feel helpless and sad. Everyone who goes there is changed. Some face more blood and trauma, some face frustration and anxiety, all are trained to kill and many wish they could just do the job they trained for. Is it any wonder that when they return they do not easily fit back into the complacency of the civilian world, where war is a distant abstraction? These guys are very decent, honorable people who are asked to do a dangerous yet absurd and impossible job. Are we surprised when for some, their anger spills over into drinking, driving too fast, violent behavior, and desperate acts of self-destruction?

     I'm including here an image of a stuffed toy, a beanie-baby version of a coffee bean dressed in battle gear, wielding a machine gun in one hand and a coffee cup in the other.  I found this icon fascinating because it seems to capture something of what I feel when I look into the innocent young faces of soldiers who the Army tries to convert into "killers." So which is it -- are they sweet young men or are they killers? Is it a soft squishy friendly coffee bean or is it a weapon of war?

End of Combat Operations

As most of you probably know, today marks the end of formal combat operations in Iraq.  There will continue to be about 50,000 troops stationed there, but the last of the combat units is officially out of there today.  Certainly we can be glad that so many of our service men and women will no longer be stationed and endangered in Iraq, but those that remain, and the many thousands that have returned still need our recognition and support, in whatever ways we can offer it.  Many of the men and women will come back home to bases or Guard units stationed locally and they will bring with them both the damage and the wisdom gleaned from their time there.  Many will be moving along to join the effort in Afghanistan, perhaps on their third or fourth tour of duty in a combat zone.

The question to consider is how does this affect you personally?  For many the answer is obvious - sisters, brothers, fathers, mothers, family or friends were or are there.  For others, these wars bring back other wars from years ago.  For most of us, however, we need to look more closely to feel the affect.  Our taxes pay for this.  The political acrimony so rampant today reflects a darker split in the culture dating back to Vietnam or before.  The economic distress in the country distracts us from the reality thousands of miles away.  Articles on suicide cause either fear or denial.  Whatever, all of us are affected, and all of us can feel a deeper sense of connection and purpose by making the effort to understand the reality of the aftermath of war for all these veterans and families so directly affected.  Healing this culture will happen through our personal and community involvement with these veterans and their families.  This will take personal and cultural courage.

We will be attending the Independent Film Week in the Spotlight on Docs program for unfinished films from Sept. 19 through 24th in NYC.  This is an important step for the film of the Welcome Home Project retreat and public performance, but, unfortunately, it is not open to the public.  It is only for industry people and filmmakers, so I apologize for suggesting that you consider attending the screening if you happen to be in NY.  Still, its a big step in getting the word out about veterans, families, healing and the community, so we’ll let you know what happens and, as always, we appreciate your continued support.

Best to you all,

Bill
The Welcome Home Project

The Independent Film Project

Developments with The Welcome Home Project and the Documentary film:

We hope that this message finds all of you well.  We wanted to let you know about an exciting development with the documentary film about The Welcome Home Project.  We have recently been selected for a major program for unfinished documentaries, Spotlight on Docs, a part of the Independent Film Week program in NYC, where there will be representatives for national film festivals, distributors, funders, etc.  This is an important event and we are extremely happy to have been selected in a very competitive process. 

Among other events, there will be a public screening of a twenty minute segment from the unfinished film and if you or others are in the area it would be really helpful to fill the seats in the theater where this will take place.  The more obvious interest the better.  We will send out more details later, but the showing will be at 12:15pm on Monday, Sept. 20 at the Fashion Institute of Technology at 7th Ave. and 27th ST. 

Thanks for your continued interest and support and we will keep you informed about the details of this upcoming event.

Best to you all,

Bill
The Welcome Home Project
541-821-4798
www.thewelcomehomeproject.org